Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
