How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
