lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
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Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"