I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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