Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex

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(713): View more from Texas

she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

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(410): View more from Maryland

She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.

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(740): View more from Ohio

He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"

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(817): View more from Texas

No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He's the conductor of the struggle bus

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS

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(231): View more from Michigan

... drunk me broke the coffee table?

(616): View more from Michigan

STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.

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