im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
