Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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