Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
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He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.