i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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