Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
