i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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