two words: eviction party
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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