D3 body, D1 cock
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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