Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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