I heard we made out
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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