eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
