yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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