Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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