I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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