I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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