So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so let's talk penis.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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