so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
