So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
