We're like a lot better than the average bears
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
