R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The air was thick with penises
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
