Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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