this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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