She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
