I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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