as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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