you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
