it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
