after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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