I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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