dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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