I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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