I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dicks are not precious.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
