Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
