I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
