May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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