Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
