how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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