So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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