Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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