Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They took my balls.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
