I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
birth control should be required to get into college
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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