you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize