uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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