At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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