I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My bed smells like the plague
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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