Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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