The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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