Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
