So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Buhtt sex?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
