He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
