guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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