return my video game
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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