the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
