I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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