GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
