He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
