that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize