I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That accounts for only three of the penises
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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