How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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