hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize