You're my little dorito
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
