I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
