im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
