well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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