your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
