I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
