I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
